How Big Did You THINK It Was Gonna Be?

For those of you who haven’t read any of my previous blog posts, you may not know that when I’m not being a mum or trying to be fabulous, or (recently) tracing my family tree, I run an adult toy website. Yes, my life is varied and strange.

Before you go getting ideas in your heads about all kinds of sordid stuff, it’s really a very classy site and the idea is that we need to reduce the stigma and shame about needing or wanting a little bit of help (or more fun!) in the bedroom. We sell kegel exercisers that help women get their lady parts back in working order after having kids, and lovely lotions and lubes to ease the way between couples. There are wonderful products that truly help women suffering from low libido or inability to orgasm, and that can help men with erectile difficulties. I love to educate people about all the possibilities out there. But, where there are sex toys, there is inevitably going to be some giggles too. I both love and dread those scenarios.

One of the things I quickly learned in the adult toy business is that a lot of toys are made waaay bigger than the average male anatomy. There are size queens and kings out there who like a bit of a challenge. And that’s great – for them. Then there are those folks who just don’t seem to understand what they’re getting into. I don’t know if it’s a case of “it seemed like a good idea at the time” or if they truly have no concept of how to measure stuff. Because all of the toys come with very specific and detailed measurements – for good reason.

For a while there, I would cringe whenever we would get an order for something that was… shall we say, substantial. Why? Because we also had a run on people who eagerly opened up their packages, delivered to their door by the unsuspecting postman, and then proceeded to freak out. Then they would email or call me and freak out and ask for a return or exchange for something more manageable. (Hopefully it will come as a relief to you all out there that returns are not an accepted policy in the online adult toy store industry.)

I  hate being the bad guy. I really do. But seriously, if the very TITLE of the product includes the words 12 inches, how big did you think it was gonna be? Because, let me tell you, 12 inches is the length of my forearm – and I’m a tall gall at 5’8″. And don’t even get me started on circumference because we’re talking pop cans – or bigger. I actually got a sample to use as an educational demo so that I can help people realize what they’re getting into and I love opening up my samples cupboard where it sits, still in the box, and showing my friends. Their jaws drop in collective wonder and then they laugh. Because really, it could be used as an effective weapon against burglars. I could either knock them unconscious or they would flee in terror at the mere sight of it.

I wonder if these customers have just lost perspective from watching too much bad porn or if they need to retake grade three math. Or is it kind of like how big boobs seem like a good idea until you’re faced with actually having them attached to your own body, weighing you down and making your back ache.

Whatever the cause of these misunderstandings I am trying to save others from the same fate by adding a size guide to each product page in the hopes that others will not suffer the same fate.  And for those who got exactly what they were hoping for, I tip my hat to you while at the same time cringing and crossing my legs.



My Weirdly Awesome New Job

Hi Folks!

After a shockingly long break, I am back at it with some new insights and a brand new job that you are all going to either love or hate.

If you haven’t read this blog before, you may not know that I’m now a work-from-home parent with all of the distractions and multi-tasking that involves. I’ve been at it for a good 6 or so years now and I’ve had some truly fabulous opportunities but none as fun or as challenging as what I’m doing now.

Prepare to blush… I am now managing a sex toy website! Yep, that’s right. And while the opportunity came completely out of left field, I have to say that I’m enjoying every ridiculous sordid minute of it.

If you’re still with me and haven’t run screaming, let me explain.

I’ve worked with a couple of great guys for years on a website they developed that’s in the medical field. I do updates and make phone calls and write health articles. It’s a lot of fun and I get complete creative control over what I want to research and write. I love it.

About 6 months ago, they let me know they were selling the site to another company and while they made sure that the new company would keep me on, they had some ideas up their sleeves and wondered if I wanted to be involved.

You see, they had always wanted to run an online store and were mulling over some ideas of what they wanted to sell. We went to lunch and were tossing ideas around and they said they were thinking of either staying in the medical field and selling geriatric devices – walkers, canes, the stuff you need to keep from falling in the tub etc. Or…. sex toys.

Now, I have a Political Science and History BA but they didn’t realize that a lot of my degree was in gender politics and women’s history. I loved the idea of a site where women in particular could be comfortable to shop for items that would make them happier and discover their sexuality alone or with their partners.

I think I shocked them a little with my enthusiasm.

It was on a patio across from St. Lawrence Market that the idea for Betty’s Toy Box was born.

We threw around ideas for what we wanted to do and decided that we wanted to be different from other sites out there. Canada has some really great sex toy retailers that are focused on education and acceptance but there seemed to be more of a void in the American market. I said that I wanted a cheeky, but not sleazy look. Something that women would be comfortable with but men would like too. I hated he in-your-face styles of some of the major sites where it’s all sex sex sex. I wanted women to realize that buying toys wasn’t something elicit – that toys can help your relationships, improve your overall mental and physical health, and be fun, not dirty.

Which brings us to today. About 4 months after our launch, I am having so much fun and learning so so much. I have been given complete control over what we stock and how we talk about our products. I am writing about things that really affect women and couples and helping people. I have met some really great people along the way, too.

I know this may not be everybody’s cup of tea but I wanted to share this with you all. There’s no way I would be able to pick up this blog again and not talk about something that is taking up so much of my time and brain power, plus if you’re game, you may learn something along the way. I promise this won’t turn into a sex toy blog. That’s not my intention. I’m still a mum and Mini Me is 13 now, with all the drama that comes with it, so there will still be chunks of my real life in this blog. It’s just that now, I have a cupboard full of sex toys to hide from the kids… and that’s a whole other post altogether!