I feel like I should have some guilt over my complete lack of involvement in Halloween prep this year but you know what? I don’t. I have decided that Halloween is going to be one of those things that is Muppet’s territory, kind of like decorating birthday cakes and cleaning up cat barf. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Halloween. I buy the treats to hand out and help put up the decorations (although this year they did it without me while I was at Blissdom. Yay!). I make sure that there is a hot, filling dinner ready for them before they head out that night. Those are all things I am happy to do. They are in my wheelhouse, if you will. Cooking, shopping, organizing. Yup. Done.
But my dear, devoted partner has gotten himself into quite a pickle this year because the kids now see him as ‘The Dad Who Can Do Anything.’ It started years ago with the birthday cakes. I would bake and make mounds of icing, then go to bed and Muppet would take over. Here are some examples of what I would wake up to in the morning.
See what I mean? He’s been delivering cakes like this since they were old enough to make demands for characters on their cakes, which in Mini Me’s case is 9 years now. But you see, the cakes then set him up to deliver pumpkins in a similar vein. Behold…
So it can hardly be a surprise that now they are assuming daddy can make any kind of costume they set their minds to as well. Problem is, poor Muppet can’t really sew. It was all fine and dandy when he was trawling the dollar stores and using super glue to make a proton pack for Monkey’s Ghostbuster costume, or when he was looking for a bow and arrow for Mini Me’s Ranger (from the Ranger’s Apprentice books he is obsessed with – basically it looks like Robin Hood) but this weekend he had to sit down for some serious time at the sewing machine and the atmostphere in the house was a bit tense, to say the least.
But, the costumes are done and they look awesome. Which takes us back to why I am bowing out of this Halloween business. I just can’t take the pressure, man. I don’t sew (although I would like to learn), I’m not crafty (and have no desire to learn) and I don’t need the stress of pinning and glueing at 1am to get the freakin’ thing done. I don’t function when sleep deprived.
In the end, I think it’s fair that I should have a holiday where I do very little to prepare, and then get to sit around and drink wine with my friends on the porch. Considering I feel like I’m still trying to wash the turkey smell out of my hair from cooking for 16 people at Thanksgiving, I think I deserve a mellow holiday where the only thing I have to think about is which piece of candy I am going to steal from the kids next. Don’t you agree?