I think that the biggest indignity when your kids are older and still causing you to lose sleep is that you keep fooling yourself into thinking those kinds of nights are a thing of the past. Then, every once in a while, you hear the clomp clomp of their not-so-tiny feet and open your eyes to see them hovering over you and staring you awake in the middle of the night. You sigh and lift up the blankets and let them climb in and it’s only then that you remember they are waaaay too big to just slide in between the two of you anymore. Something has to give, and it’s usually Muppet, who flees to the vacated kids’ room to sleep free from jabbing elbows and flailing feet.
Mini Me has been a bit clingy since the start of this year and last night was the second time in two weeks that he wandered into our room claiming nightmares. He’s 10 1/2 but he hasn’t reached that age yet where he shrugs away our hugs and touches. He’s actually pretty affectionate with the both of us still, but he was never one to crawl into our bed very often, even when he was really little. So, when he needs the security, we still let him get in. He’s getting so big now that he takes up almost as much room as his dad, minus the snoring, so it’s not an issue. Muppet bails out and I get a good night’s sleep.
But then last night, two hours after Mini Me comes in, I get Monkey as well. I don’t even remember why he said he was coming in. He is not a good co-sleeper. He tosses and turns, pokes elbows in my face, and generally has to hang onto me or bury himself against my side the whole night. This is when I wish that I could bail out too and just leave the both of them to cling to each other. But, they have mummy radar and I know that if I switched beds, it would only be a matter of time before they would follow.
I’m not complaining, not really. They are both getting older and these nights don’t happen that often. I am just grateful that when they were little and Monkey would co-sleep for a week on end, that I was able to still fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Those days are long gone as I creep steadily into my forties and deeper into perimenopause. Insomnia and I are good friends now and I am at least grateful that I am at least not having night sweats like some of my friends while I lay awake at night. I guess this is the price you pay for having your kids later in life.
Hopefully tonight everybody will be in their own beds. Maybe I should take a lesson from the cat and spend my nights somewhere that nobody else can fit!