Is that even a word? Refinding? Well, it is now. This is serious, people. It’s lost and I need to take some drastic measures to get it back. It snuck away in dribs and drabs over the last six months or so, undetected by me, and suddenly I looked in the mirror today and realized it was almost totally gone.
Working from home was a choice I made several years ago, but the thing is that it’s hard to find a reason to change out of your Old Navy jeans, t-shirts and birkenstocks when you spend the majority of your day running errands, sitting at your kitchen table on a laptop, or walking kids to and from school. So, while I really want to look like this…
What I usually end up looking like is this…
I used to get compliments on my style, my hair, my ability to always find the time to put on a bit of makeup or earrings. I like to look nice and while I am no fashionista, I like to wear clothes that fit me well and accentuate my curves. I would paint my nails and make sure my hair looked nice.
I was always the first one agitating my girlfriends for a ladies night out, drinking and dancing at our favourite bar. I was funny and fun and alwasy up for a good time. I loved to dance and we would hit up a local gay bar that played uptempo Latin music and was full of guys who wanted nothing more than a dance partner who could shake their hips and keep up. Those were wonderful nights, full of laughter and fun and friends.
But then Muppet’s work hours started to get crazy and I found myself single parenting 2-3 nights a week. When he was home on the weekend, he was wanting to sleep until noon to try and bank the sleep hours he was missing during the week. The kids’ classes needed volunteers for field trips and bake sales, and it seemed like there was alwasy something that was causing me to struggle to put in enough paid hours of work. Add to that an argument and stress between my sister and I, some ongoing issues with a once-close girlfriend, and WHAM!, my fabulous disappeared.
I fully acknowledge that it’s completely my own fault. I haven’t been making time to visit the gym this summer and I can feel my muscle turning to jiggly flab. I haven’t been eating healthy, because when I get stressed, I tend to want comfort foods that are higher in calories. I haven’t been getting out because sometimes it’s just easier to invite a couple of friends over and just sit on the porch with a bottle of wine. It has changed my frame of mind, sucked my energy, and make me crabby.
But, maybe it’s feeling September looming so very close now. I am starting to feel the urge to put earrings on again. I have a hankering to revamp my fall wardrobe. I want to put on a bit of makeup and go out. Could this be the first glimmering of my fabulous coming back? I’ll let you know.